Tuesday, 3 July 2012


Well, are they?

From the moment you take that pregnancy test, you feel this sudden surge of what I guess is motherly love. A base instinct to protect what's yours. To do your level best to ensure that your child is loved, nurtured... safe. When the baby is born, that instinct steps up to the "enth" degree and you will do anything to keep a smile on that kid's face.

So life trips along and they grow and they're safe and protected... until you send them to school.

Shouldn't we have the right to think our children are as protected in school as they are at home? I know no-one can do it as well as we can, but you at least hope their school life isn't fraught with worry and fear.

Until that is... your kid comes home in tears and tells you that little shit has been bullying him again.
Until that is... your kid sobs in your arms and begs you not to make him go back there.
Until that is... your kid changes from the fun-loving child you raised to a sullen, quiet shell of their former self.

So you head to the school. You go down all the proper channels. Do everything the "right way".
And you are assured that it is being dealt with and will be stamped out.

Bollocks is the only thing I can think to say. Because your kid is still coming home sobbing and with bruises on him that weren't there when you sent him in that morning.

What do you do? Do you move school? But if you have two kids, how do you do that? Do you go to school with him and follow him around like a sheepdog to make sure no one touches him? Or do you do what my Dad would have said to me... and what I know countless other parents tell their kids...

... Just hit the little shit back.

It seems the second approach only gets your kid into trouble for retaliation.  But what else can you do?

So in answer to my own question... NO schools don't take it seriously enough.


  1. This inspires me to post myself... I am there with you every step of the way... bullying destroys kids... RJ X

  2. Thank you for posting this. I was that kid, but my mom didn't care. She just told me to toughen up.

  3. These are my thoughts and are not intended to stir up arguments/hurt feelings... If schools acknowledge a problem then they have to deal with it, probably why most schools 'dont have a bully problem'. Telling a child to ignore a bully, walk away, tell a teacher etc etc does not solve anything. Brainwashing them with this from such an early age makes them believe they are naughty/bad if they do stand up to a bully. I told my girls to stand up and, if needed, hit back (as hard as possible) if they had problems of that kind. If a teacher punished them for it then to say I told them to do it (let the headteacher/governing body deal with me) My oldest never has (to my knowledge, perhaps my advice stopped it if it did happen) had a problem. My youngest appeared she may be beginning to have trouble until I reminded her of my comments, which seemed to give he confidence knowing she had my permission to stand up for herself and that I would handle any backlass from a teacher. The problem disappeared without any violence, all because she felt she could stand up to a bully. As we now know, as adults, bullies are mainly cowards, but getting children to understand this can be difficult. Sorry, getting a bit carried away....

  4. I don't think schools take it seriously. They say all the right things, they have 'anti-bullying' policies in place, but the reality is that nothing seems to change. When my daughter was at secondary school, I virtually wore a path up there for meetings with form tutors, year tutors etc, hoping each time that this would be the last time I'd have to do it. It never was, until she left after taking her GCSEs. It was the same core of kids that were giving her a hard time but, as far as I could tell, they were never punished.

    After 2 years at an FE college, she is finally starting to get her confidence back. I really don't know what the solution is. we seriously considered moving her to another school, but she wasn't keen; she was worried that she'd encounter the same problems and i couldn't honestly tell her that she wouldn't.

  5. I am a parent and a teacher.

    At home I tell my kids to hit back but I'm not allowed to give the same advice in the classroom.

    What are your suggestions? What would you have teachers do in the classroom to address bullying? We are all ears and eager for valid suggestions.

  6. I'm not sure what the hell schools can do. They are so limited in their powers to tackle the bullying kids.

  7. Surely if they're a repeat offender, suspension is the way to go?
    Kids under 10 don't really realise they've severely cocked up when all you do is give them a time out. Which is all our school seem to do.

  8. I told the school I didn't want this kid anywhere near mine. I know they have no power over the playground... but I at least expected them to be kept at a distance in class. He has two teachers who job share and I spoke to both of them. One obviously paid attention the other didn't give a shit because she partnered them in a class exercise. I was told she was "trying to build bridges". I told her the kid was lucky I didn't call the police and show them the finger bruises around my son's neck - I didn't want any bridges built!