Sunday, 12 June 2011

Six Sentence Sunday

This is my first Six Sentence Sunday and I have chosen an excerpt from my current WIP


Laurel Heights: What's really going on behind the closed doors of the exclusive gay community?


“I know you went over there.  Did you think I wouldn't find out - that you could hide it from me?”

“I was with the others, I was just being neighborly,” he whimpered, pain sparking through his kidney at the kick to his lower back, and he automatically curled in on himself.  

He covered his mouth with his arm, to stop the cry falling from his lips, knowing if he cried out, it would be so much worse.

“Did he fuck you?” The words were punctuated with more kicks to his lower back, the muscle in his thigh and a heavier one to his right buttock.  


21 comments:

  1. OUCH- so blatant with his words and accusation- love it Lisa- great 6
    Dawne P

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  2. Oh my! I feel for the guy getting kicked.

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  3. wow! very compelling...makes me want to know more.
    Liz

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  4. Thanks, Liz.

    So does yours!
    Lisa

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  5. Oh, dear, oh, dear...*wringing hands* I hate leaving someone like that...will have to know what happens next!

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  6. Marcos: Thank you - I'm glad it's sparked your interest.

    Angel: Bless you! Maybe I'll give you another six sentences next week, lol!

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  7. Wow, I really felt that. Well done!

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  8. Really well-written six. Hope the abusive person gets their comeuppance at some point.

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  9. They will do - don't worry :) I'm glad you enjoyed it :)

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  10. I didn't enjoy it. It made me uncomfortable. Writers who can create an emotional response in the reader are far more interesting than ones who make you think "That's nice." Some of the best writers are the ones who make you wince in sympathy for their characters.

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  11. What a post! Emotional, made me want to help him fight back. Well done.

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  12. Thank you Kayelle :)
    Your reaction is actually what I hope to achieve. Thank you for commenting.

    Thanks Jean - I'm glad you liked it :)

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  13. Really nice six, love how natural the interaction is between them, and the pain..ouch. You really got that across! This six packs a punch.

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  14. Well you know I loved it. Fantastic choice. I can't wait to participate next week.

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