I watch so many of these parenting shows and the sanctimonious morons who've never even had a child of their own, a child who hangs on you twenty four hours a day, who screams at the slightest rebuttal, who just grates on your very last nerve - think they know it all.
I had two beautiful, warm, loving children who did as I asked, went to bed when they were told, accepted a 'no', after a fashion. Now I have two kids who won't do anything but rant and rave at each other, slap, punch and kick each other, think its alright to call me a bitch and have slept in my bed for over a year.
What happened, I hear you cry, where did it all go wrong? It went wrong because I was married to a man who ignored me. Who made me feel worth less than the shit he might step in on the street. Because I sank into a depression so acute that I didn't leave the house and when I did, I got to the end of the path and had to go back inside again.
Then their father left (after I told him to) and I expected some bumpy patches, so I let it slide a little - and then the depression was so dark and I was in a pit so black I couldn't see any light at all - so they slid a little more. Yeah - I'm not stupid, I know it's my own fault and as I've got better, I've tried to rectify the damage I and their father leaving has done. I love my kids - they couldn't possibly think anything else - I tell them all the time and I show them all the time and I don't doubt they love me, but there is only so much a person can take before their spirit breaks.
So I listen to the Supernanny's and the like and I think, yeah, it's a fabulous idea, it would be good to do that, we could bring some order back into our lives and I could take back the control.... And I hear them tell parents that they are breaking a child's spirit and how damaging it can be. I've only got one question....how do they help the parent whose spirit is broken beyond repair?
They go on about the children's spirit....but my question is....what about mine?