Monday, 27 October 2014



Ed and Fred have their lives all planned out. Until they run into the zombie apocalypse. But does that mean, just because they're dead...ish, that their plans have to change? After all, don't zombies need love too?


Everybody loves a good wedding… am I right? Of course I’m right.
The butterflies of anticipation in the pit of your stomach as the Wedding March plays. Wondering what the bride will be wearing then inwardly cringing at the size of the meringue she thought would turn her from a sow’s ear into a silk purse. You stand and turn, an encouragingly beatific smile ready on your lips as she walks down the aisle; while secretly thinking the bridal boutique must have had some kind of hall of mirrors like the ones they have at the circus. Then you quickly brush aside your own opinions as you catch sight of the look on the groom’s usually taciturn mug, your heartstrings twanging like an exuberantly played harp at the pure unadulterated joy you see there. To him, she is that silk purse, meringue or no meringue—and isn’t that the reason we all love a good wedding? Well, that and the free bar, and the bridesmaids, or the groomsmen depending on which bus you’re on.
But this wedding is a little different from the norm… for a start there are two grooms. Not that that isn’t normal. Two grooms isn’t even a speck on the radar of abnormal at this shindig. How can I put this…?
Like I said, this wedding has two grooms so there’s not even a whiff of a meringue. The guests are… well… the guests are an eclectic bunch, to say the least. Think Xander and Anya’s non-wedding in Buffy if that helps, but more disturbing. The minister might remind you of Rowan Atkinson in Four Weddings, without the nose, although he does have the ears… one of ‘em anyway. Then there’s the smell not even the arch of roses at the altar can disguise. It’s a stench that’s become all too familiar. An odor so intense it makes your eyes water and whatever little food you may have eaten rise in your throat. Not that it’s much of a problem for these wedding guests. It’s something they’ve learned to live with day in, day out.
But They hadn’t been invited. The best man’s speech could have been a little awkward if he’d tried to eat some of the guests at the top table.
You see I’m Ed and this is my wedding, mine and Fred’s.

And me and Fred, well… we’re… um… kinda dead.


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