Tuesday, 6 August 2013
*IN THE MANNER OF THE SEAGULLS FROM FINDING NEMO* MINE, MINE, MINE, MINE, MINE!
Remember those halcyon days when you were a kid? Going out at 9 in the morning with a belly full of coco pops and a promise that you would indeed come home at some point? When you just laid on the grass in someone's back garden and stared up at the clouds, trying to figure out which one looked most like your dad reading a newspaper on the toilet? Or sat in three inches of water in your best mate's paddling pool for so long you left the house looking like a ten year old and returned home looking like a wrinkly old man who resembled your Granddad? Oh, and riding up and down the road on the back of your brother's chopper until he decided to do one wheelie too many and you ended up flat on your arse? And, of course, let us not forget the hours spent hanging upside down on the monkey bars at the local park, watching the world go by... in reverse!
There were a multitude of ways to entertain yourself when we were kids... so why don't today's generation know how to find their own enjoyment in simply being alive?
Why have I spent the last hour arguing with my 7 year old because she wants the laptop? Why has my son been glued to the TV? Why are they constantly telling me they're bored when they have every toy known to man, a sixty foot garden, scooters, bikes and A DOG? Shouldn't they be making the most of their Summer Holidays instead of complaining they can't find their DS charger?
It makes me feel incredibly old to even think about letting these words pass my lips, but kids today have never had it so good... or so bad. Is it good that they don't know how to take a magnifying glass and a jar into the back garden and discover a whole new world? Is it good that they look at you like you've just dribbled on yourself when you suggest making a fort under the dining-table with a sheet? Is it good that they wouldn't know how to cloud watch if you gave them an instruction sheet?
Well they're in for a big surprise! They will have fun! They will not complain they are bored! They will look like wrinkly old men before I've finished with them! DS? Xbox? Wii? I'm sorry, they do not exist yet, it's 1976 and we're going to hang upside down from the monkey bars! And no you can't have the bloody laptop, cause it's MINE!
Wish me luck dear friends. I'm going to teach my children how to have fun oldschool. They won't know what hit them!