Wednesday, 25 July 2012

THE SWIM DIARY OF A TERRIFIED MOTHER....


This is the first week of the Summer holidays... I know... torture... school should be all year round! Anyhoo... I paid for both Gracie and Alex to take a crash course in swimming this week. It was really reasonably priced and neither can swim so you can imagine the excitement!

I am not usually what you'd call a nervous mother... I'm very much of the opinion, if it's not bleeding or hanging off, give a quick rub and get on with it. Railway stations and water, however, freak me the chuff out. Unfortunately I only found out about the water thing this week... and I think it's because they've never been in a swimming pool without me before, so I had a total lack of control over my children's destiny...

Monday

We arrived at the pool in good time, which was quite impressive because they asked me so many times... "Are we there yet"... that I nearly headed to the pier to drive off!

In the changing rooms was the first pallava!
Alex had refused to put his swimming shorts on before we left, so had to get changed there. Relatively easy you might think. Oh, dear God. I nearly shoved the shorts on his head and sent him out like that! The positioning of the towel was wrong, he got tangled up in his shoes which he wouldn't take off until last thing... I could go on.

Finally, in the pool.

Gracie was a little wary, which was odd because she's my fearless one. But that was okay because she didn't let go of the side, or either of the women guiding them across the pool.

Alex... decided he was a cross between Michael Phelps and the bloody Man from Atlantis! I don't think my heart has stopped so many times in one sitting! In the end, I was so stressed that all I wanted was a dark room to lie down in!

Tuesday
The journey and the getting Alex into his swim shorts was pretty much the same as Monday (gawd help me!)

Once in the water, the first thing they all did was join hands and sing Ring a Roses, but instead of snotting all over each other, they "all blow bubbles", which they're supposed to put their mouths under the water and blow it away. Gracie... bless... was more than happy to blow the water, from about four foot above it (shakes head). Alex thought blowing the water meant inhaling half the bloody pool and had to be dragged to the side coughing and spluttering!

Today's lesson was swimming backwards and floating. They did really well, Gracie still hanging on for dear life and kicking as though she were in a cage fight! Alex used his arms a lot which earned him praise and the reduction of his armbands to two on each arm (these floaty things) to one on each arm :)

Wednesday
Today we got there with time to spare and they sat on the side of the pool watching the earlier class, which was fun because they were obviously more advanced and Alex's eyes nearly popped out of his head when one of the girls swam a width almost under water.  I, of course, was thinking... Don't you bloody dare as I could see the cogs turning and smell the burning from where I was in the gallery.

Gracie limped along the poolside and sat down very gingerly on the side after the splinter debacle of last night. She'd decided she would go in, even though there was obviously a possibility that her foot would drop off on contact with the water. Luckily it didn't. More Ring a Roses, front crawl and back crawl with a huge grinning face staring at me every time she reached the side.

Alex obviously decided before we got there that he was going to have a real attempt at killing me. Apparently missing a beat wasn't good enough for him anymore, he wanted me to actually keel over completely. Ducking under the water while there was no one to supervise him at the end where he was, not holding on to the side, trying to swim by himself and encouraging Gracie to go under as well. Those goggles were a bad idea!

Mind you... by the time they got out... Alex had swum practically an entire width by himself wearing armbands, and Gracie had actually plucked up the courage to jump in with assistance at the end of the lesson :)

And me... I put a cold compress on my forehead and had a lie down when we got home!

Stay tuned for Thursday :)  

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