I am, up to a point. But did these superstitions come from somewhere deep inside me, or were they inbred because my mother was superstitious... and was she superstitious because her mother was superstitious... and so on and so on... (can you tell I like the word superstitious yet?)
What are superstitions? What do they actually mean and how were they born? Was some bloke sitting in his living-room wondering what to do because there was a power cut and decided to think up a few ridiculous sayings? Commonly, superstitions are born out of fear and ignorance... that's Google talking, not me - because that would be presumptuous and that's a whole 'nother blog post and a whole 'nother 'ous'. (Stick with me, I know what I'm talking about)
So what are the most common superstitions handed down through the ages....
- Friday the thirteenth is an unlucky day
(it probably is if you run into this bloke!)
- A rabbit's foot brings good luck
(I'd have to say, not for the rabbit)
- If you walk under a ladder, you will have bad luck (especially if the bloke up it drops a tin of paint on your head!)
- If a black cat crosses your path you will have bad luck
(only if you trip over it....)
- To break a mirror will bring you seven years bad luck (which means I'm roughly on 672 years...)
- To open an umbrella in the house is to bring bad luck (*blushes* is this one of mine?)
- To find a horseshoe brings good luck
(of course, while you're basking in your good luck, some poor horse is hobbling up the road to the blacksmith because you've stolen it's shoe!)
- Step on a crack, break your mother's back (Really? How? Is she lying on top of the crack you're jumping on? I don't get it... but apparently 1/2 of all adults deliberately avoid stepping on cracks in the pavement...)
Then we have the more bizarre....
- Garlic protects from evil spirits and vampires (the only thing garlic protects from is an unwanted kiss after being taken out on a blind date - so make sure you order lots of it!)
- Our fate is written in the stars (Well unless it said Lisa a bird will shit right in the corner of your windscreen where the wipers can't get it... I'm not buying this one)
- Clothes worn inside out will bring good luck (you might have good luck - but you'll look bloody stupid, they forget to tell you that bit don't they!)
- A cricket in the house brings good luck (A cricket in the house brings sleepless nights until you can find and kill the bloody thing!)
- It is bad luck to sleep on a table (of course it is, you might drown in the gravy!)
- To refuse a kiss under mistletoe causes bad luck (So you have to kiss the socially challenged moron your mother has fixed you up with at her annual Christmas party? Sod that for a game of soldiers.)
- When a dog howls, death is near (oh God, that must mean my street is dropping like flies, Winnie howls at the drop of a hat).
- A sailor wearing an earring cannot drown (What? Seriously? How big is the bloody thing? Does it open up into a life raft? A dinghy? A rubber ring? Good lord, who makes this shit up?)
So... now I have delved into the mysterious world of Superstitions, if you tell me yours, I'll tell you mine. What? I have to go first? How is that fair? *harrumphs* Okay.... I will admit to the crack in the pavement, I'll also admit to the umbrella open in the house, shoes on the table and when I see a funeral procession I always touch my heels together... why? Because if you don't you'll be the next one in the hearse of course, what are you? Stupid?
Come on then... 'fess up...