Tuesday, 7 June 2011

Who is Lisa?

Going through a divorce is never an easy thing.  I worked in the family department of a law firm for ten years, so I've seen what people are capable of doing to the person they once loved.  I swore that I would never be like that if I was in that situation - not that I thought it would ever happen to me, of course.  I was the exception to the rule - it would definitely never happen to me...right?


After spending ten years in a marriage when I put 100% in and only got 5% back - I found the courage from somewhere to take that step into the great unknown.  Not that I regret those ten years - he's not a horrible person - and I have a gorgeous little boy and a beautiful little girl to show for it - how could I regret that?  I've had my ups and downs and I think I'm getting there - but my friend asked me yesterday what my maiden name was and, when I told her, she asked me a question:

"Who is that Lisa?  What was she like?  Would she sit back and take the jibes and cry over a man who never even met her halfway?"

I sat there and looked at her with my mouth open.  I had to think hard about that Lisa - and what she was really like - becauseI couldn't remember.  I think she was fun, she liked to have a laugh with her friends, have go out at the weekends, have a good drink.  She didn't sit and wallow, missing where she was supposed to be now.  She put make up on every day.  Didn't slope around in jogging bottoms or put the kids in front of a DVD and go back to bed in the afternoon because she couldn't see any point in being awake.  I quite liked her.

But if I sit and think about it - there are still glimpses of that Lisa.  I see her sometimes in the mirror, just a flicker, then she's gone again - but I know she's in there and I think it's time I asked her to come out and play.

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