Matthew's writing is hard-hitting, in your face, no holds barred and I want to thank him
for giving us a glimpse of his talent and future writing plans.
· Godless Faggot
By Matthew Darringer
I appreciate this opportunity to guest blog. I invite people to check out my blog http://matthewdarringerwrites.blogspot.com/ should they have the time and inclination.
I am a not-so-simple, bisexual guy from Bakersfield California with a checkered past and an HIV+ father with whom I am forging a relationship. I am atypical. My father was never around when I was growing up, but I am grown man and I choose to make sense of him rather than remain angry. His story draws me to look past his HIV status and the fact that he is a drug addict.
He has been clean almost four months as I write this.
My father, who is 50, has spawned eight children with three women trying to “go straight” even as he sold himself as an escort beginning in the storied days of the Lords of Bakersfieldhttp://www.bakersfield.com/news/columnist/price/x647995334/The-Lords-of-Bakersfield . My father is gay and has always been gay. Gay was not OK in the Darringer family, but I believe same-gender orientation is genetic. My father is gay and my brother Kyle and I are bisexual.
His father called him a godless faggot and for that I deeply hurt because my namesake is not a bad person. He has just made some bad decisions. Though my father is no saint, his father should never have been that evil. I would like to think that a parent—no matter how disappointed in his child—would as his default love his child. My grandfather did not and in fact my grandfather raped my father repeatedly as a child. My father says he would have been gay anyway, but still, my grandfather is a hateful bastard.
I want to write my father’s story as a gay escort these past thirty-five years and it is hard for me. I could write his story easily if he were a stranger, but he is not. That makes it tough for me. I look like him. I sound like him. I have done things he has done.
In writing his story, I will have to confront my own sordid years despite being half his age, but I am at peace with who and what I am. I am in school going for my PhD and I am in a great relationship with my fiancé Kate. I am openly bisexual and I am healthy.
Being at peace with those who have wronged us is not one of my goals because I am an eye-for-an-eye kind of guy, but my father who has wronged me has my peace. I choose to engage with him and to write his biography.
Where it will take me, I do not know, but for now I choose this path.
By Matthew Darringer
I appreciate this opportunity to guest blog. I invite people to check out my blog http://matthewdarringerwrites.blogspot.com/ should they have the time and inclination.
I am a not-so-simple, bisexual guy from Bakersfield California with a checkered past and an HIV+ father with whom I am forging a relationship. I am atypical. My father was never around when I was growing up, but I am grown man and I choose to make sense of him rather than remain angry. His story draws me to look past his HIV status and the fact that he is a drug addict.
He has been clean almost four months as I write this.
My father, who is 50, has spawned eight children with three women trying to “go straight” even as he sold himself as an escort beginning in the storied days of the Lords of Bakersfieldhttp://www.bakersfield.com/news/columnist/price/x647995334/The-Lords-of-Bakersfield . My father is gay and has always been gay. Gay was not OK in the Darringer family, but I believe same-gender orientation is genetic. My father is gay and my brother Kyle and I are bisexual.
His father called him a godless faggot and for that I deeply hurt because my namesake is not a bad person. He has just made some bad decisions. Though my father is no saint, his father should never have been that evil. I would like to think that a parent—no matter how disappointed in his child—would as his default love his child. My grandfather did not and in fact my grandfather raped my father repeatedly as a child. My father says he would have been gay anyway, but still, my grandfather is a hateful bastard.
I want to write my father’s story as a gay escort these past thirty-five years and it is hard for me. I could write his story easily if he were a stranger, but he is not. That makes it tough for me. I look like him. I sound like him. I have done things he has done.
In writing his story, I will have to confront my own sordid years despite being half his age, but I am at peace with who and what I am. I am in school going for my PhD and I am in a great relationship with my fiancé Kate. I am openly bisexual and I am healthy.
Being at peace with those who have wronged us is not one of my goals because I am an eye-for-an-eye kind of guy, but my father who has wronged me has my peace. I choose to engage with him and to write his biography.
Where it will take me, I do not know, but for now I choose this path.
·
matthewdarringerwrites.blogspot.com
As one of the regular readers of Matthew's blog, I don't doubt his skills to write. He's a very talented young man (yes YOUNG man)LOL
ReplyDeleteI sincerely hope he'll be able to write his father biography without putting his own sanity at risk.
I admire the writer AND the man.
Matthew, you're a great guy, you really are.
Thank you agreeing to be my guest, Matthew. I too am an avid reader of your blog and you know how much I adore the intensity and honesty of your writing.
ReplyDeleteAnd Jade is right. Although you might not want everyone to know it. You are a really great guy and a good friend x
I agree - Matthew, your writing is quite intense, brings out emotions (good and bad) in people which is, in my opinion, an end goal that isn't always easy to achieve!
ReplyDeleteThat's a wonderful post, Matty :) And it'll be a worthy book to write.
ReplyDelete